Would you like to restart your brain now?

Well, That just about sums up my experience here.. Pune, Oxford of the East.

Sorry I haven't been posting for quite some time here. Normal issues of House hunting, making friends, facing college life and all that jazz. As of today, I've managed to be late for my 1^st class till date, so you can say that I've been a good student. Things are going good as they should, and except for a state of disconnection from the rest of my world, things are just fine.

Being in School is fun. The teachers are fantastic, some of them beyond reproach. I've managed to be so mind-boggled by it all, that I've been accused by my roommate of talking in sleep with my teachers, discussing arcane things. The crowd around is a totally different ball game. The kind of questions that some people can ask in today's day and at the stage that I and my classmates are performing, it reassures you. That In this race towards the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, you know your 24K.

The last few days have been so photocopied in nature; I can probably compress all of their memories into one single day, and live them all over again. Get up, get ready, go to college, attend classes, hurry through lunch, and then just go on doing such things which vegetate your brain till you fall asleep of exhaustion.

There are some strange things happening off late. The more I think about them, the more flummoxed I get.

There is a strange feeling developing here. I've been used to being an authority position. I also knew that once here, I'm all the more eligible for having carried that halo with me, and other people wouldn't recognise it. The thing remains, that I've started taking a backseat from doing things. I've not applied from the Presidentship of a single thing till date. And I think, in scholastic achievement section of my resume, that's supposed to hit my long term career plans for being a leader.

How do you solve this one? Rest on your past laurels and let other people take the stage now, while you look at things from up there, your imaginary halo-glorified land? Or do you push, plan and parry like those ultra-competitive SOB's that you read about in Archer's novels about the successes they were because they chaired the alpha beta gamma phi there? Coming here, one of the things that I wanted to do, was to be Class President. Now, the ball game is entirely different. I really am giving this a thought. Why this break from the quest of power?

May be I'm losing it. Maybe I've lost the killer instinct that's required. The problem is, I never achieved anything through this route before. I just managed to my job honestly and things happened. Life has been good to me. I never had shitty colleagues, indifferent bosses, and unsupportive office cultures to contend with. Life's not given me enough to whine about, to show my discontent and want for attention through my quest for power.

So what should One do? Kill the golden goose of ambition once and for all? The thing that is supposed to take you to the top? Or believe the Gita, and keep doing your karma, till the Lord delivers you the corner office? These are things better left to destiny they say. And So I WON'T.

Be with me all this while, as I now thrust and parry with my own self. One the 6'3" giant with a booming voice ready to intimidate people, and the other, the humble humane homo sapien, trying to lead the life of mental austerity.

This is going to be fun. What say..

Ohh. And on last thoughts, let me not be so inconsiderate to not mention that I've managed to get some great friends around me. People who keep me happy, irritated, frustrated, gargling with laughter, listening with awe, admiring with glee and fascinated with fracas, not exactly in that order. Brilliance does exist in this world, and some of it is floating right around me these days. ( I can be in a happy and Non-confusing state too, you see..)

 

Ciao