Reminiscence

Something that's affected me since childhood. I remember sitting by myself in the park one night... Just thinking about all my school years, the things that were, the things that could've been, the things that were bound to be. Just waiting for another one of those days, when I'll have life stop for a moment to myself, excuse yours truly from an extended period of extreme stimulations of a fast life.. work by night, sleep by day, have fun in the twilight everyday, where I spend so much time destressing, that now I am getting stressed by the repetition of it all. I mean, how many times can you go out there and eat Italian food, look at another photo on the web, spend nights immersed in a book?

I've been doing it for the last 15 years. I am surrounded, by this word cruncher-cum-voyeur catcher on my lap, about 200 books on the shelf that I'm leaning against, a family that values me as the eldest son, freinds who would be there till the end of the day, and the night too.

They say about Memories being confusing things- You could laugh about all the times that you've cried together, and cry about the times that you were together, laughing.

Part of my procrastination is the facade of a dogmatic attitude that I've built for myself- this hasn't happened in the past, this is not happening in the future as well, so let it be.

The better thing to do is, as I've told myself all the time, is to build a newer self each day, which is vitalised by blah blah blah.... As known to myself this doesn't happen.

But today's the day... for the new self to lose track of all that has happened, go on to renew history, the way things have been and blah blah...

( All my articulation of wordplay is best expressed in my usage of blah blah blah)